So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
