remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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