So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
You work out of a Hotel?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
