loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
