eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every concussion has its silver lining
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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