You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'm really into asian looking animals
i don't like sucking hair
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
