I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
