there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize