dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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