I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Randomize
