I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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