Those balls look pretty dangerous.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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