she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
