girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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