hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
