So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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