Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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