Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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