I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
