So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
