Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
