Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
