Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
