Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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