So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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