instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
