stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
