i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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