Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
