i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
