You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
