This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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