i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
