I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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