JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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