Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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