I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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