well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i will never coherently bang her
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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