I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Small penises have feelings too.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
