actually, I'm a sock model
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I didn't notice because vodka
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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