I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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