Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i need some magic done to my vagina
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
try to milk me bitch
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