Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
