just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
