I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize