South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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