is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
