The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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