So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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