You just made me feel so damn special
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
