love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
