I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
