what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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