my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
