Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
