Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize