I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
