You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
