I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am spending my child support on dildos
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
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Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
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No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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