Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
