I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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