my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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