Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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