I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
